Try to imagine your 18 year old self getting excited about urine. Wow! Urine! That's hot! That girl would have packed herself off the looney bin in about ten seconds. So, have a good laugh at that image when your kid stops you before you put his diaper on to say, "No. Pee pee! Pee pee in the potty."
"Pee pee in the potty?" you repeat. "You want to go pee pee in the potty?"
"Yesh!"
And the heavens open up and behold the good lord singeth and the angels playeth their harps and off you whisk your son to the potty where he sits upon his Elmo toilet seat, points his little...ummm...humdinger....down and indeed PEE PEES IN THE POTTY!!!!!!!!! Okay. So he missed a little bit. (18 year old self would have been disgusted by this.) But overall, the kid asked to pee in the potty and then actually peed in the potty, getting us all one step closer to freedom from the tyranny of diapers! (Can I get a Hallelujah? Amen!)
And then the praising begins. "Marc, Gideon just pee peed in the potty! Can you tell Daddy what you did? Tell him how you pee peed in the potty!"
"You pee peed in the potty?" asks Marc in the singsongiest fallsetto you ever knew a straight man could use. "All right!"
And then you both sing "Yeah! Gideon pee peed on the potty! Gideon pee peed on the potty! What a big, proud boy you are. Gideon pee peed on the potty!" And a thousand balloons dropped down from the ceiling and Dick Clark appeared out of nowhere and a giant disco ball emerged from the heating vent and Donna Summers started belting out Hot Stuff as her back up dancers did the samba across the room.
It's official. You might as well legally change your name to Uncool Mommy. But that's all right. Cause your kid pee peed on the potty!
Try this at home:
Are you cool?
2 comments:
Oh hell yes! In that "Uncool Mommy/ I'm a Total Geek" sort of way.
One of my old friends once told me that I wasn't cool because I wasn't afraid to look stupid. I really like that. I wish more people were like that. :)
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