It would be fair to say that in the past you haven't felt comfortable with many women. You've had easier friendships with men, especially gay men. They provide the best of both worlds. But you would take a straight guy too if there wasn't any attraction there. It feels very safe for you to have male friends.
Girls learn early that women compete with each other. Men do too, but their competition is more upfront and cavemanlike. Rggghh. You take my bone I beat you!!!! Rggggh. Now that I kick in your face we drink beer and watch old episodes of Star Trek. Grgggh. We be friends now. Let's fart and eat Cheetos.
Women compete in more subtle, insidious ways and it can get nasty sometimes. Slam books and bridesmaid dresses. Need I say more? It's hard to find women who really have your back. They are fabulous when you do find them, though. Like little frilly needles in the haystack.
As you've gotten older, you've needed other women more and more. Strangely, the very concerns that make you feel isolated and insecure around other women are often the very concerns that make you need them the most. A guy friend will understand many things, but childbirth isn't one of them. He probably also won't understand the monotony of being a stay at home mom. (Although you haven't stopped looking for the elusive gay guy parents hiding out somewhere in the west end of Richmond.)
That's why it's nice to hang out with a woman you like and feel comfortable with. Even when you're different. It's good when the differences feel okay and you still feel loved and loving despite them.
Try this at home:
Do you relate well to other women?
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