You're not one for phrases like "take back your power." It sounds a little bit too new age-y cackadoody to you, but that's probably why it was the phrase that jumped out at you this morning as you were on the treadmill at a 6.0 elevation sweating your butt off to Erasure's "A Little Respect." Give a little respecttttt. Toooo. Meeeeeee! You got to that sweet spot in the workout where the endorphins kick in and suddenly you're transported to this moment of pure bliss. Sometimes you get a little emotional and you even start to cry, which is weird. Because you're at the gym. Not a Barbra Streisand movie. A lot of times this crying is tinged with the pain and anger that you don't feel in daily life anymore. But something about the physical exertion and the inspirational music sets it off and those feelings become very real to you again in that one minute.
This morning in that minute you realized that you have without a doubt changed your life for the better. From a place in your life where you felt powerless, afraid and insecure, you now feel strong, brave and confident. You respect yourself and feel respected by the people you care about. Life is very very good. Most days, at least. And you feel proud because this was not something that just happened TO you. You built this life for yourself. And here's how you did it.
How to take back your power in five not so easy steps (that might require therapy and possibly a gym membership and an internet connection):
1. Acknowledge your anger, sadness and frustration but don't give in to it. Learn how to feel it without acting upon it (and doing and saying really stupid things you might regret).
2. Accept that you can only control your own actions. Living YOUR life the way you want to live it is what will make you happy. (Living well really IS the best revenge. Okay. Maybe not quite as dramatic as tarring and feathering but a whole lot less messy.)
3. Get physically strong. You don't have to look like a Victoria Secret's model. But you should feel active and physically capable of living the life you want to live. (This does not necessitate giving up ice cream.)
4. Find the beauty in your life. It's all around you. (You can even start a blog about it!)
5. Look high and low until you discover at least a few people who make you laugh and who you have a good time with. Then cultivate those friendships. (This is a hard one for introverts, but it really is worth all the pain and suffering.)
None of these things are easy and you don't succeed at all five every single day, but just making the commitment to try has set your happiness in motion.
Try this at home:
Do you agree with this list? Is there anything you'd add or subtract?
6 comments:
I agree with all of this and it's the rules I am applying now that I have finally gotten the guts to live my life the way I want.
I know! I see all the big changes you've been making! I hope they bring you much happiness.
good for you, babe.
and i'm a big advocate of numbers 1 and 3. i think many people underestimate the effect that physical ability can have on one's mental state. come visit and we can go rock climbing. it;s the ultimate power exercise.
I agree! I'd like to try rock climbing. I think I would suck at it, but I'd still try it.
I was just talking to Synge last night about how impressed I am with you- you really have taken back your power, and it is truly an inspiration. Keep up the good work, feel (justifiably) proud of all the effort you have put in to your own (deserved) happiness, and know that there is someone in Chicago who thinks that you are (literally) awe-inspiring!
Awww. Thanks!
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