How to Appreciate Your Mother

First, recognize that she's just looking out for your best interest, even when she drives you absolutely insane.

No. First roll your eyes and gnash your teeth. She drives you crazy! Why is she so negative? Why does she bring up stupid things you did when you were ten years old like wanting to open up a day care in your parents' attic or eating a mushroom out in the yard for no good reason other than it was "calling to you" and use them to support her point that you have no idea what you're doing with your life.

Call a friend and bitch about your mother.

Feel ungrateful and guilty.

Call your mother back so she can tell you that you are indeed ungrateful and that you should indeed feel guilty.

Shove your husband on the phone to defend you and plead your case. Watch him squirm. Even at 6'1 and 200 pounds, he's no match for a 60 something redheaded yenta.

Hate the way she turns you into a six year old every time you want to make an important decision in your life. But alternately feel compelled to discuss every important decision in your life with her and gain her approval. Wonder if this is because you are Jewish or an only child or both.

Save this thought for therapy.

Remember the time she threatened to beat up the kid who was picking on you.

Remember when she cut her hand down to the bone and took you to your friend's birthday party before going to the emergency room.

Remember clothes shopping where she pretended the size 14s were for your sister instead of you because you were embarrassed to wear a size 14.

Remember how she stayed on the phone with you until you fell asleep when you were away at camp and scared to be by yourself.

Remember when your interview went badly and you thought you didn't get your graduate fellowship and she said "Screw 'em. You don't need them anyway," as you cried down the street. (You did end up getting it, though!)

Remember when the world was against you and you hated the world and you hated her and she loved you anyway.

Recognize that she's just looking out for your best interest, even when she drives you absolutely insane.

No. Really she is. Like it or lump it.

Try this at home:
What is/was your relationship with your mother like?