Go to the grocery store intent on sticking to your diet. Carefully select an orange, some ripe tomatoes and cucumbers from the produce aisle. Pinch them to make sure they're juicy. Be pleased with yourself. Aren't you the virtuous one! Skip over the prepared mac and cheese in the deli case. Chicken pot pie. Corned beef. Cole slaw. Steaming potato soup in the warming pot. Skip over them all on your light little feet. Won't you look good come summer! Don't give them a second look. Well, maybe just one look. Looking can't hurt!
Notice the samples in the bakery section. Mounds of yellow pound cake. Rainbow cookies out for the eating. Just one wouldn't hurt, would it? Take a stale cinnamon strudel piece out of the case. Taste the sweet icing on your tongue. Just one more. Mmmmmm.
Screw it. You have four months until bathing suit season. It's raining out. It's wet and cold. Don't you deserve something delicious? Just something little. Just one treat. After all, you've been so good.
Impatiently steer your cart to the baking mix aisle. Pass by the cakes and cookies. Organic blueberry muffin mix. 50% splenda cupcakes. You know what you want. You want the real deal--the good stuff. Double chocolate ooey gooey fudge brownie mix! And you want it now!
Jackpot! There it sits so innocently in its neat red box. Only you know the sweet seduction which rests inside. Drop it in the cart, while purposefully ignoring the calorie chart on the back of the box. Calorie charts are for sissies.
At home, wait until you child goes down for his nap because you are a bad mommy and you want all the brownie mix for yourself. As soon as his little head hits the crib sheet, sneak downstairs and prepare your treat. 1/4 cup water. 1/2 cup vegetable oil. 2 eggs. 1 plastic bag's worth of delicious preservatives. Pour them all a bowl and mix.
Yes. Yes. Yes. You have to actually cook the brownies. Pour the mix in a pan. Pop it in the over at 350 for 35 minutes. Yadda. Yadda. Yadda. But who cares about that?
What you care about is that luscious left over mix just sitting unattended in your bowl. You tried to scrape out as much as you could. Really, you did. But there's still some in the bowl and you can either throw it out and waste it or put it to good use.
So turn on some bad TV. Soap operas if you're into that. A Golden Girls rerun where Dorothy makes fun of Blanche for being a hussy and Sophia tells an incontinence joke. Even NASCAR if you must. Then plop down on the couch with your bowl of brownie mix, a spoon and one sticky finger and go to town.
Try this at home:
What's your guilty pleasure?
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